You see it all the time on TV shows or in the movies, a married couple is fighting and inevitably, the husband ends up sleeping on the couch. However, this is not the case in my house. It does not matter how angry my wife and I might be at each other, it does not matter how at odds we are, nothing, and I mean NOTHING will keep me out of my bed at night. There are probably two fundamental reasons why I am a stickler about this...
1. I value a good nights sleep...I get about 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night, on average, which is probably less than I need if I were to listen to all the "experts" out there. So, when it is time to sleep, I want to have the best conditions possible, and that begins with my bed.
2. In my opinion, the bedroom needs to be neutral ground...the demilitarized zone. It should never become a place that is associated with anger or resentment. It is the place where the promise of "...for richer or poorer, in sickeness and in health, till death do us part" is always meaningful and sacred. I have always felt that if the bedroom becomes anything but that, if two people who are married cannot maintain that, major trouble is on the horizon.
So, my rule is that I will not give up my bed for anything...however, that was until the other night.
My 3 month old daughter still sleeps in our master bedroom in a co-sleeper next to my wife's side of the bed. Usually, Evie (our daughter) will wake up to eat at 4:00 AM and I will typically get up, feed her a bottle and she will almost always go right back to sleep once she is fed. The other night she jumped the gun and woke up fussing at 3:00 AM. She was acting as though she was hungry, so I got up with her (I take the overnight feedings usually) and went ahead and mixed up a bottle. Upon trying to feed her, she bucked, kicked, screamed, cried...basically she had no interest, no desire to eat, and she was telling me in no uncertain terms that this was the case. So, figuring that she just needed a diaper change and then be re-swaddled (several of our babies have loved to be swaddled at night) maybe she would just drift back to sleep. I awoke Tiffany to change Evie (read my post about diaper changes) and then I swaddled her (my wife and I are swaddle masters thanks to a nurse in Maine who taught us the best technique imaginable) and laid her down to sleep. For a moment, Evie was quiet...but just for a moment.
We tried everything to get her to settle down and get her back to sleep, we tried to feed her again (got the same result as the last attempt), hold her, rock her, etc... Finally, out of desperation, I knelt down along side of the bed (in "prayer" position) and laid Evie down, on her side (since birth, she has always been a "back to sleep" baby), on my side of the bed. Two things then happened, first, she pulled my hand up to her face, and was lightly "mouthing" my index finger. Second, she quieted down almost immediately, closed her eyes, and went to sleep. It was 4:00 AM. There I was, kneeling along side the bed, dog tired, my hand held hostage by my daughter, with her sleeping soundly in my spot on the bed.
At 5:00 AM my alarm went off to wake me up for the start of my work day. As I got up from my makeshift bed on the floor (a pillow) I looked over and saw our angel Evie sleeping soundly, and I could do nothing but smile. My daughter did something that my wife could never do, displace me from my bed.
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