The Jack Sprat Theory

So, we have all heard the saying "Opposites Attract"...I have to be honest, I never really knew if that is a good thing or a bad thing as it relates to human relationships.  There are so many examples of human relationships that have gone wrong that the hope for long lasting relationships originating from opposites attracting seems a bit hopeless.  Surely, compatibility is more a function of similarity that opposites, right? However, after 11 years of marriage, I think I might have started to figure out the key behind the opposites attract theory.  I think the key is that there is strength that is realized when two people can leverage their respective differences, where the whole becomes greater than the sum of the parts.  My theory is that the differences must be complementary, even if only on the simplest of levels.  

When I think about my "theory" above, I am reminded of the old nursery rhyme about Jack Sprat and his wife (everyone knows that one, right...he could eat no fat, she could eat no lean, blah, blah, blah...).  In that light  I think it is appropriate to call my theory the Jack Sprat Theory.   In the spirit of Jack Sprat, below are some ways in which my wife and I are opposites, but those differences actually are quite complementary...and actually serve as good cocktail party fodder or are at least good for a laugh...

1.  Cake v.s. Frosting

What is the goal when given a piece of cake, be it for a birthday,  wedding, anniversary, etc...?  Aside from it being traditional celebratory fare for particular events, I would argue that the main goal is to eat the cake and leave no trace of the sweet delicacy behind.  However, that is not my goal...to put it very simply, I generally do not like frosting on my cake, so my goal would be to eat the underlying cake without polluting any of the bites with frosting.  So, any piece of cake I eat will result in a glob of frosting being left on the plate.  Those two layer cakes pose a challenge with there being frosting in the middle.  I am usually forced to perform a little "cake surgery" to make sure the frosting component does not interfere with my cake eating experience.  I just do not care for frosting.  I find most frosting formulations far too sweet for my taste and I would prefer to just eat the cake.  My wife on the other hand, could care less about the cake part and will immediately go after the frosting, leaving nothing but the cake behind.  She has become very proficient at carefully removing the outer layers of frosting off a cake, leaving the inside cake portion almost completely undisturbed.  She also is very adept at securing the corner piece of cake as it has the most surface area covered with frosting. 

But, it is all good, for the combination of my dislike of frosting, and her dislike of the underlying cake creates a beautiful dance between the two of us where ultimately, the entire piece of cake is eaten.  Only together (or alternatively if one of our six kids is around to mooch our cake) can we hit the goal of eating the entire piece of cake...as weird as it sounds, I actually love this about my wife and I.

2.  What's for dinner...broccoli 

Few vegetables have the reputation that broccoli has.  You either love it or hate it, and I am not convinced there is any middle ground on this one.  Tiffany and I happen to both like broccoli.  I would categorize my wife as the more typical broccoli consumer, she would much rather eat the florets as opposed to the stems.  When she buys frozen broccoli in the store, were it not for yours truly, she would go for the bag of florets.   However, at my request, she buys the "regular" bags which are usually full of the stems and stalks, with a few florets mixed in.  If fresh broccoli is on the menu, I suggest that we do not waste our time picking the bunch with the smallest stems.  Why you might ask?  Is it to save money (the bags heavy to the stems are cheaper generally)?  The answer would be...No.  Actually, the real reason is that my preference is to eat the stems, not the florets.  I know, it sounds a bit strange, but hear me out on the advantages of the stems over the florets.  First and foremost, it is pretty hard to overcook the stems...they generally always remain a bit on the crunchy side and there is nothing worse than soft, soggy, limp broccoli florets (in fact, over cooked broccoli may very well be the reason that so many people do not like it).  Second, they have a slightly milder flavor and less "grainy" texture than the florets.  Third, and possibly of the utmost importance, the stems do not leave bits of green in your teeth the way the florets tend to do.  

All these advantages aside, and much like the cake and frosting scenario (except my children would not be mooching our broccoli), this is yet another example of a "collaboration" between my wife and I where our respective differences complement each other, albeit in a very strange, odd and possibly disturbing way.  

In all seriousness, my wife and I actually complement each other in much more meaningful ways (they are just not as much fun to write about).  Whether it is the qualitative versus the quantitative tendencies my wife and I have respectfully, or the differences in parenting style (Dad tends to be a bit more playful, and a bit more strict with discipline whereas Mommy is much more nurturing and even-tempered with discipline), the point is that these differences complement each other and produce an outcome that neither of us could produce alone and likely have a better outcome than we could individually accomplish.